Wednesday wonderings, 14 April 2021!

 G'day everyone

Yes, here I am, slowly getting back to a few days of 'average'.  I had my first counselling session on Monday night and I have to say I did come out with what felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders.  I have some strategies in place, it won't happen over night but practice and persistence will start to bring me back into my usual happy, if not slightly slower, fun self. I have another session in a few weeks time as well.

Never underestimate the power of admiting that you forget to breath properly. It was so obvious to my counsellor that I didn't breath properly.  I was reminded that my Samsung Fit watch has a breathing app on it. I'd forgotten.  

                                    

I was also advised that yes, there has been a lot of trauma over the years in my life and I have had every right to feel totally overwhelmed. When we talked through the many things I've gone through and not just lately but years and years of putting myself last and not admitting that grief isn't something that you can put time limits on, well, it was a revelation.

Knowing all the things I have done to get myself through events that could quite possibly have floored other people, has made me the fighter that I am. It was positive affirmation that I'd been running on empty for so long it's no wonder I fell in a crumpled heap in the last few months.  My ability to bounce back had taken a battering for so long, it was no wonder I was floundering.

I've so many things I want to still do but have to pace myself these days. I'm writing lists again and ticking things off. I'm not to cram my days with as much as I can. Even if I have a day where I just sorted out washing and got dinner on before hubby got home from work, those are worthwhile achievements.  I'm no longer the pocket rocket I use to be.  

Being 4ft 8" or probably shorter now I'm in my early 60's, has had many challenges over the years and my poor body just isn't able to do some things I use to do like climb ladders & build furniture!  Heck, I'm amazed that I have attempted so many things the averaged height person takes for granted.  Over time, pushing my short stature has worn parts of me out and I have had to admit it.  One of them being my little/big heart, which ever way you want to think of it.  Another being my eyes, yes, finally I have my new glasses. Nice they are, don't you thing?

It was also pointed out that "I wear my heart on my sleeve" and that it's not such a bad thing, I have empathy, lots of it. However, other people, not so kind nor caring other people, see it and take advantage.  This is something I also have to work on.  Yes, I've learned to say no. Now I need to learn that saying no doesn't mean I don't care, it means no, just no!!!

This was not easy to write/type out but I feel this has been quite uplifting to do.  I am starting to create/craft again so I will leave you with a photo I took of card created using a new Stampin' Up! stamp set, Pansy Patch, and a couple of the new In Colours coming in the new annual catalogue on 4th May 2021!  Fresh Freesia,   Polished Pink,  Evening Evergreen,   Soft Succulent, and  Pale Papaya

So til next time, remember

Happy stamping, colouring & creating!

Tutu Tuesday, 6th April 2021

Well hello there everyone! Happy Tutu Tuesday!

It's been a while since I've blogged. This isn't going to be full of creativity, just words. I'm awaiting new glasses and I've not been dealing with life in general very well lately.  The last month or so has seen me hit a hard wall emotionally and I've stepped back from the whole world so to speak for a while.  But you know what has been said about me, so you can't keep me off line or quiet for too long.  

I know we all have our problems in this world and I've been dealt my fair share over the years.  Last July, when I came home from hospital and had to change my life for the better ie, my diet, my crafting obsession (let's face it, I'm addicted to paper crafting) and a yoyo of highs and lows emotionally, something had to give and it's been my mental state. 

I've been told I wear my heart on my sleeve and has it never been more apparent to me than this last 3 or so months.  I had to hit rock bottom and admit, I need help to work past the emotions that have held me ransom for years.  Somewhere in the chaos of my mind I've been advised that I've been dealing and handling things quite well but when I burst in to tears because I can't even tie a bow easily like I usually do, it's very distressing and obvious, that I am not at all handling things like the average every day.  Yes at the moment, I'll take average over the chaos! 

I am unable to concentrate for a few seconds and am flitting from one thing to another around the house and not getting anything really accomplished, well, enough has been enough.  My long suffering husband has tried to help but he's had to cope through my many bouts of depression for 30yrs.  Lots of things have come to light that I've never told even him, my best friend of nearly 32yrs!!!

I thank the Lord for my church, the wonderful people I have met through KAC (Kellyville Anglican Church) and have been guided to a counselling service that I pray will help me put my ghosts to bed and my past in the past and learn new coping mechanisms for the future.   Not to forget my past but to move on from it and remember all the wonderful not the sad and bad!

So that's it for now.  So glad I'm a fast touch typist or I'd never have been able to type this out so quickly without looking at the keyboard or the screen for too long.    Let me leave you with a life skills tip to pass to your kids, LEARN TO TYPE properly. It's something that can taken everywhere through life in this modern digital age.  Best skill ever. I can type as someone is dictating to me.  So thankful for that at the moment when my eyes hurt so bad.  

I'll be back soon, with some great paper crafting 

projects & new images.

til next time, 

remember, happy stamping, colouring & creating!!