G'day everyone
Yes, here I am, slowly getting back to a few days of 'average'. I had my first counselling session on Monday night and I have to say I did come out with what felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I have some strategies in place, it won't happen over night but practice and persistence will start to bring me back into my usual happy, if not slightly slower, fun self. I have another session in a few weeks time as well.
Never underestimate the power of admiting that you forget to breath properly. It was so obvious to my counsellor that I didn't breath properly. I was reminded that my Samsung Fit watch has a breathing app on it. I'd forgotten.
I was also advised that yes, there has been a lot of trauma over the years in my life and I have had every right to feel totally overwhelmed. When we talked through the many things I've gone through and not just lately but years and years of putting myself last and not admitting that grief isn't something that you can put time limits on, well, it was a revelation.
Knowing all the things I have done to get myself through events that could quite possibly have floored other people, has made me the fighter that I am. It was positive affirmation that I'd been running on empty for so long it's no wonder I fell in a crumpled heap in the last few months. My ability to bounce back had taken a battering for so long, it was no wonder I was floundering.
I've so many things I want to still do but have to pace myself these days. I'm writing lists again and ticking things off. I'm not to cram my days with as much as I can. Even if I have a day where I just sorted out washing and got dinner on before hubby got home from work, those are worthwhile achievements. I'm no longer the pocket rocket I use to be.
Being 4ft 8" or probably shorter now I'm in my early 60's, has had many challenges over the years and my poor body just isn't able to do some things I use to do like climb ladders & build furniture! Heck, I'm amazed that I have attempted so many things the averaged height person takes for granted. Over time, pushing my short stature has worn parts of me out and I have had to admit it. One of them being my little/big heart, which ever way you want to think of it. Another being my eyes, yes, finally I have my new glasses. Nice they are, don't you thing?
It was also pointed out that "I wear my heart on my sleeve" and that it's not such a bad thing, I have empathy, lots of it. However, other people, not so kind nor caring other people, see it and take advantage. This is something I also have to work on. Yes, I've learned to say no. Now I need to learn that saying no doesn't mean I don't care, it means no, just no!!!
This was not easy to write/type out but I feel this has been quite uplifting to do. I am starting to create/craft again so I will leave you with a photo I took of card created using a new Stampin' Up! stamp set, Pansy Patch, and a couple of the new In Colours coming in the new annual catalogue on 4th May 2021! Fresh Freesia, Polished Pink, Evening Evergreen, Soft Succulent, and Pale Papaya
Happy stamping, colouring & creating!
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